Communicate

Hey,

Have you ever felt left out from a community or friend zone? or maybe have you ever felt so lonely in a crowded place? Sucks right? it feels like you 're invited to a party but you only know the host of the party but not every one in there. The ambiance is good, the food and drinks are good, but you look like a complete retard because you can't socialize with others.

People live in a social community, it's a destiny that human is a social creature. We interact with others almost every time, in home, office, school, mall, cafe, in a public transportation, everywhere. So, communication is a part of our life and believe me it's so important that can determine the success of our life.

Believe me communication is so DAMN hard if you don't know how to do it, do you ever feel so awkward in the middle of conversation because you don't know what kind of subject that you need to talk with other person? or have you ever been so shy in front of new person or stranger? We describe "stranger" in here as a new person that you need to communicate in order to smooth your life. For example: your new partner in office, your girlfriend/boyfriend's family, your boss, your new client, your new community, people in the party, or people in a wedding party, or new client prospect. but  if you know how to do a smooth communication it then the conversation can be so exciting.

I will give you some tips to make a smooth conversation:

SMILE:

It's the easiest, simple, and free way to start a communication. Smile is a positive sign and almost every    people in the world will give feed back with smile also. Smile and give your hand to introduce your self for a new beginning of conversation, I always do this one when I "Hello my name is Emir Zakiar, I am from .........., what do you think of ................?" you can fill the blank with anything.
Let say you are in the wedding "Hello my name is Emir Zakiar, I am the friends of the bride, what do you think about the decoration of this wedding?"
Let say you are in a company gathering "Hello my name is Emir Zakiar, I am in FMU division, what do you think about the global market nowadays?"
If I already know their name, say their name first before your name in the greeting, I do this; "Hello, Mr/Mrs ........... I am Emir Zakiar, we met at ........ how are you?"
Name is a great sound for other people, they will feel happy if you said their name, it show that you pay attention to them.
and many other way to start a conversation. The key point is you need to be confident when you do it, don't forget to smile, it will give a positive energy to you.

Be Confident

How? at first I always find out the string that attached me from other people, in a company gathering the string is you work in a same company or in a same industry. In a party the string is you and the stranger must be know who the host of the party or the same interest with the music, maybe in the same interest of the lifestyle. In a seminar, the string is you and the stranger have the same interest with the topic of seminar or the speaker. When you talk to your client the string is the interest of the client with your product or the needs of the client and many other things can be the string in a conversation, you must find the string to start a good conversation.
Second, I always think that the person I wanted to have a conversation is also a human being. Sometimes we feel shy in front of our boss, our boyfriend/girlfriend's family, new partner and so on. I always see them as a human being, put aside the status of the other person but still talk in a manner attitude.

Keep Eye Contact

Keep your eyes focus when talk to each other, Have you ever felt being ignored by others? don't like it? so DON'T do it to others!!! eyes is the window of the soul, you can read people by look into their eyes. If you find it hard to keep your eyes focus then you can try to look between their eyes or you can see the color of their eyes. It actually easy to do it if you want to try it.

Be Curious

I always curious about the topic that we talked about, it will give you an endless conversation, but remember always see the other person body gesture, I will talk about body gesture later in another post, if their body gesture shown an uncomfortable sign then it's time to back off from the sensitive subject. Talk about another subject, never be an annoying person that seems wanted to know everything from the other, they have a sensitive subject that they protect from outsider. You still an outsider to them if they don't want to talk about it. remember it.

Listen More

We have two ears and one mouth so we can listen twice as much as we speak. Never make your audience feel you're talking too much and worse they feel you only talking about your self, they don't give a damn about your self, they also need to be listened. Listening actually a great way to know people, we can explore their interest, hobbies, lifestyle, and everything that revolve around them.

That's some of my technique to have  good conversation with others or even a stranger, have you ever talk to a stranger in the street. I had, I did it to increase my communication skill. It worked for me and I hope it will work for you. Try it, feel an adrenalin rush at the beginning but it will train you to become a person with good communication.

That's some of my trick to get a good conversation with other people, try it, you will be surprised with the outcome. Have a great communication skill is a tools to be a successful person, look around you, see with your own eyes who is the person that really success but lack of communication skill? I never found one. If you find one let me know.

"The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives" - Anthony Robbins


Have a Splendid day
-EZ